Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Dark Light

There was something strangely protective I felt the first time I slipped on a leather garment. A pair of chaps that I was fitted for a nearing horse show I was competing in.

I was just a kid; but that leather enveloped me in a sense of security I had not felt before and definitely could not explain. It was like a full circle hug from ancestors long ago.

To this day when slipping into leather, there is a feeling of deep gratitude to the creature that gave its life to cover me with their wisdom. Something many of certain belief systems may never understand, but an important part of the whole still.

Life cycles in creation and destruction, our best and limited intentions will only morph life into a convoluted expression, such are human whims. Animals are keenly aware of this destiny and unlike man; they fool themselves not with a false platform of superiority that crumbles under the weight of phoniness.

There is a measure of human perception that is blinded by what we want to see and believe about ourselves. Usually the way we want life to be is the road of least resistance and challenge to ourselves. This imposes a very tainted slant to information we are able to interpret, because if it is not in line with what we want out of life – a human will tell themselves what they need to hear to get through life.

Animals don’t suffer from this delusion. They are in the moment and interpret life according to compiled information from heritage and experience. They take and give as it comes; a very true reflection is what the critters offer.

Lessons from the Predators

I have watched several generations of Red-Tailed Hawks for decades now. I have always found impressive the education this couple invests in its offspring to hone the skill of the hunt, to kill well, so they may live and thrive. From this I have gleaned how human’s are not fit to judge death, as for most, it offers the greatest challenge to the God-like notion of expectations we yoke life and each other with.

Having not known my own father well, I have watched this blessed bird in great awe as he floats on the thermals with his love, building their nest with carefully chosen materials, bringing nourishment to said mate and offspring and then nurture the process of fledgling flight evolving to a sustainable individual. This hawk inspires me.

In this process, the blood of other beings is spilt and populations kept in check. A balancing act so neither side thinks too much of themselves and recalls their place in the grand scheme of things, taking only what is needed. There is no life without death, the same force that heals, kills; it all boils down to proper use of power and knowing when to use it. No one gets out of here alive.

Neutralizing Extremes

There is great peace for me in letting go of anything that comes out of a human’s mouth. When peace is made with the opposing forces of good and evil (as much as humanly possible), one can see the contribution each side has made with more clarity, rather than spewing judgment from mere pre-programming that may make one feel better in the moment, but lacks deep reflection of life lessons that shine light into black holes too ominous to confront.

A spiritual load that encompasses that “full circle” cliché is often confronted in victims of child sexual abuse. Such abuse dis-empowers the will and potency of the solar plexus so that many victims are not even able to articulate their violation till compensatory behaviors have suppressed and morphed the pain into a mutated reflection of their perpetrator. Child porn incites decomposition to the collective Soul of the planet that erodes and insults victims with each view. Laws do not inspire conscientious action, if the core is corrupt, dissonance follows.

Human trafficking is slavery alive and well in modern times. Some believe the soul returns for refinement. This concept strikes others as cruel and unnecessary. The human is the animal with the least amount of time on this planet compared to many other forms of life. In that short span, the two-legged have done the most damage to the planet that feeds and sustains not only the human race, but so many other forms of life. No other species leaves future generations a poisoned planet nor do they allow those that govern the option of yoking distant generations with what amounts to slavery via incredible dept loads. Humans allow this to happen to their offspring then arrogantly speak of how they know what happens to the soul once this existence is done. This is a great discrepancy I find impossible to digest.

Judgment represents itself as a human doing the best it can with what it knows at the time. It is rare to find a human who can speak in the moment, without the coloring their words with guilt, fear, manipulation or pre-programming.

As the need for judgment dissipates, the being is ready and able to see contributing factors to any given situation. When a being is secure in their base (root chakra), the voice deepens (speaking from core truths) and the being is able to make decisions that 1). They know they can handle the outcome – even if they don’t know how or why) 2). They know where to sink their energy, what to take on, what to walk away from. These beings also know that intuition is often shut down so fate/destiny can take over and do what it needs to do without human “interference”. Yes, humans often get a chance to put away those bloody opposable thumbs, stop contriving and controlling and go along for the ride, so that they may learn the value of “letting go”. I have often thought of many life events as a grand theater for the drama of the ego. I believe many mistake co-creation for a trick of the ego, for once in the “flow” self realizes it is a grand crescendo of many wishes and hurts brought to fruition for the sake of deeper compassion and understanding; nothing more, nothing less. It all rolls into one.

Once in this flow, the zero state, self realizes all life as well placed stepping stones to get to where you need to go. All needs have been met, whether it is known or not. And what self thought was loss was something whose purpose was served and the opportunity for moving on has arrived – sometimes with a swift kick in the ass! Energy has its own innate wisdom that way.

Retribution becomes a spoke in a wheel of old sick pre-programming that one is more than ready to walk away from. Room and maturity of spirit has been made for a secure foundation to build its way, or at least this is what is hoped for. If all parties are a bit more able to stand on their own two feet with a bit more peace and stability than the day before – hey, that’s a good day! Peace is a scarce commodity in these times; a gift humanity has often thrown away in exchange for a so called comfort. When peace of mind replaces the worry of old, humanity has reclaimed a huge chunk of a solid foundation. Energy work and homeopathy aid greatly in clearing miasms that contribute to keeping beings stuck in sickly patterns they usually don’t even know they are repeating till its too late, becoming that which they hate/fear the most.

 The Ride is Always too Short

So I will don my black leather and ride my big, black bike, it makes me feel good. People will see me riding down the road and form all kinds of opinions that have nothing to do with who I really am or the shared burdens carried inside me.  They hear of my work and yoke me with an expectation of who I am supposed to be, according to their ideals. I never see myself the way they see me, the need to be someone else’s expectation, is not who I am or who I wish to be.

 By owning both ends of the spectrum, nothing is glossed over or assumed not to exit. An aspect of self acknowledged as "less than light" will not have to be suppressed and morph into something one did not see coming because it was denied. When working in certain areas of town that are thought of as “dangerous” it is imperative to be this complete. Also when working with predatory animals, owning all aspects of self paints a complete picture and not a weak delusion of who self thinks they are. Know yourself well. All beings can see through the delusion, except for the one fooling only themselves. Embrace flaws and perfections; the ride is always too short.

I like to joke with folks to aim low, and then we will all be pleasantly surprised. I will hear and see all kinds of things I wish I never needed to know. I will do so because like a black hole in the universe, I know anything can be broken down and transmuted to particles beyond atoms and something shining can be reflected/created back from it.

When I am done infinity will provide and I don’t need to get stuck in anyone else’s pre-programmed version of what will happen to me. That has been in the works since before I came here and it always works out the way it should J


  1. Wonderful, thought-inspiring essay. Love this line "All beings can see through the delusion, except for the one fooling only themselves." Blessings!

  2. Very inspiring and thought provoking. Just what I needed to read on this part of my journey! Thank you very much for this, Renate. And bless the Hawk!

  3. Thank you ladies, the hawk was flying low lazy circles over the ring at the barn today - blessing right back at you!

  4. Fabulous and well expressed! I so love going to the beat of my own you express, why even try or think one should live according to anyone else's ideals/expectations...we are just humans on this planet but a short time. However, if we can just discard the dillusions we get a glimpse of the greater!


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